My name is Penelope Shagnasty. I have been elected to be the Base Monitor, a position (and I know several) which I take very very seriously. Most people think that monitoring bases is no small job and it is. You must have the proper equipment and mental promiscuity to accurately measure the depth of the snow without slipping into the bowels of the earth. One, such as I, must be alert to all real and imagined dangers while performing this crustwhile task and be grossly familiar with the inherited perils. A throaty shriek of “Ski” alerts people ahead that my ski has gotten away from my work area and is coming down the hill. Another warning I get sweaty about is “Avalanche” which tells everyone that a hill is coming down the hill.
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| "Lopey" hard at work |
I want you to be grotesquely aware that the base at Angel Fire is not 24 inches.
(See Above).
I can only occlude that men MUST be doing the measuring for this ski area.
(See Below) 
……In fact, there are patches on some of these runs that are amazingly bare. Oh Thor, Scandinavian god of acheth and paineth…..here my screams as I sail through the thin air after being ejected from my skis on the grassy knoll.
I, Penelope Shagnasty…….Base Monitor……must warn you that early seasoned obstacles may exist.
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| Note: There are 206 bones in the humane body. No need for dismay……the two bones of the inner ear have never been broken while skiing. |
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| Remember your preseason exercise program? You bound your legs together at the ankles, laid flat on the floor and then, holding a banana in each hand, got to your feet??? Here is a chance to use that highly sought after technique. |
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| Slow Skier Area…er, speaks for itself |
So this is my Final Answer….The BASE at Angel Fire is 0 to 2 inches, as measured by….. Penelope Shagnasty……..Base Monitor, I always tell the truth.
Stay tuned for more columns by our very own vigilante base monitor, Penelope Shagnasty…Base Monitor, who will be protecting us from erroneous ski information.
And that’s all from the western front………..we will be experiencing some technical difficulties over the next several weeks so there will be no new updates until after the first of the year. The afore mentioned difficulties are due to the fact that I will be in Iowa (stands for I Owe the World an Apology) visiting family and friends.
Merry Christmas…………..keep your tips up and the flat side down. Ask Santa for helmets and good emergency health insurance. OR…..ski with a paramedic like I do.
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